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29 March 2010 @ 11:45 am
dragon tiger duality  
i think maybe some people are naturally more proactive, while others tend to be more reactive. society seems to encourage proactivity; that is, the will to do whatever we think we should be doing, even to the point that it almost goes without saying that doing anything is better than doing nothing. i don't know, though. maybe that goes right to what can go wrong with thinking too proactively. it's prone to being in spite of what's really going on. to focus on what we want, or think should be, complexities of reality be damned.

otoh, to be too reactive can mean focusing on circumstances so much, whatever we really want be damned, leading to internal strife, and a rather depressing downward spiral...seems i tend to be much more the latter, than the former.

but i wonder, maybe society is wrong. maybe there's merit to both ways of being, just as there are pitfalls. maybe regardless, we are who we are, and need to learn to deal with who we are in ways that doesn't cause all sorts of strife, internal or external. course, i'm being reactive here. a more proactive sort might say something more to the effect of screw that, one needs to just take control of their life, rather than be a little bitch about it. i'm thinking that to really do anything like that, one need to be realistic about it, though. we need to be able to take stock, and know what we're dealing with, or it's not likely to go all that well.

i feel like my life has been so much about waiting for opportunities, yet constantly dragging myself across the coals of self-flaggelation for not going out and making my own opportunities. where does waiting get anyone, really? i have to wonder, where we really think we're going, though. maybe, given the reality of my situation, waiting has always been what's worked best. as long as i'm clear headed enough to take an opportunity when it's presented, which is much less likely to be the case if i spend all my energy beating on myself for being who i am.